Healing Lifeways
Forgiveness
The words flow easily from our lips:
“Excuse me.” “I beg your pardon.” “Please forgive me.” We use them as
social lubricants, conversational fillers, throwaway sentence starters,
and attention getting devices, invoking them with such unconscious
facility that the words themselves have lost their meaning. When we
excuse someone, we overlook an act that might have offended us or a
promise not kept. When we pardon someone, we remove any punishment or
consequences due for some unacceptable behavior. When we forgive, we
remove blame and absolve from any guilt or penalty. But in the
fast-flowing stream of daily interactions, those meanings get lost,
overwhelmed by a flood of information and the constant tangle of
task-oriented connections.
We have many motivations for offering forgiveness. Sometimes the words
have entirely different meanings; “excuse me” often serves as a polite
“get out of my way,” and “I beg your pardon” usually means “I didn’t
understand what you said.” All of us, on occasion, experience
misunderstandings or disagreements, and we resolve our conflict with an
apology and forgiveness — whether or not we actually use those words —
which serve to set aside the unpleasantness and get on with functions of
daily life.
When someone says to us:
“Forgive me,” how do we respond? Even if used in a meaningful context,
asking forgiveness for an error or offense, our first inclination may
lead us to dismiss the thought with a “No problem” or “Don’t worry about
it.” Rarely would we respond, “I forgive you.” We may feel reluctant to
admit that we may have actually experienced some offense or injury, or
perhaps we do not believe that we have the power to forgive, or we feel
embarrassment at exercising that kind of power. For whatever reason, we
miss an important opportunity to heal our relationships and ourselves.
What happens when we actually need those words in all of their richness
of meaning? For many of us, that richness lies hidden; the common usage
has formed a cognitive callus over the true message, covering up an
important tool that we need for healing and growth. . .
.
Healing Lifeways has the mission of providing opportunities for learning and research in Natural Health, Wellness, and Healing, developing skills in individuals that will enable, empower, and enhance their work in caring for themselves and others. We work to make the opportunities accessible and affordable in the hope that more people can enjoy giving and receiving the gift of wellness and healing.
Seminars
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Clayton College
of Natural Health
Healing Lifeways
PO
Box 6591
Grand Rapids, MI 49516
phone:
(616) 458-3736
(800)
227-7637
email: tim @ healinglifeways.org
(c) 2007 Timothy C. Jenks all rights reserved
